Vaginismus symptoms – what to look out for
Vaginismus Symptoms - what to look out for
If you’ve ever felt pain, tightness, or an automatic “closing up” feeling during attempted penetration, or even just the thought of it of it, you may be experiencing vaginismus symptoms.
Many women find it difficult to recognise what’s happening or to put words to it, often blaming themselves or assuming something is physically wrong.
When penetration is unsuccessful, women often describe it as hitting a ‘wall’. They may perceive their vagina as being so small and tight that they cannot even imagine anything comfortably entering it. If penetration is attempted the woman will generally brace herself in anticipation of pain, causing the vaginal muscles to tense.
Recognising the symptoms of vaginismus is the first step toward recovery. The more clearly you understand what’s going on, the easier it becomes to find the right help.
So how do you know if what YOU'RE experiencing is vaginismus?
While every woman’s experience is slightly different, there are some clear, common signs that point to it.
It’s likely that you have vaginismus if you experience most or all of the following:
• You feel as though there is a ‘wall’ inside your vagina preventing penetration.
This “wall” sensation is one of the most common vaginismus symptoms. It can feel as though your vagina physically closes up or blocks anything from entering, no matter how much you try to relax. This isn’t in your imagination — it’s your body’s automatic way of saying “not safe right now".
This wall can be incredibly frustrating as you may dearly want to have sex or insert that tampon, but your body is just not playing ball.
• You experience a burning or stinging pain and tightness of the vagina if penetration occurs.
If penetration does happen, it may feel sharp, burning, or unbearably tight. This pain can make even gentle attempts feel impossible and may linger emotionally long after the moment has passed.
The pain is caused by the muscles around the vagina tensing up. They are not spasming - this is a common misconsception! Happily, it's simpler than that and they are simply squeezing tight, and you can absolutely learn how to change this response.
• You feel anxious or hesitant at the thought of penetration.
These feelings can appear long before any physical contact takes place: even just thinking about penetration, whether through sex, a medical exam, or using a tampon, can create anxiety, dread, or panic.
Sometimes women can get so accustomed to these feelings that they become normalised and less easy to detect.
• You feel alienated or disconnected from your vagina.
Many women with vaginismus describe feeling detached from this part of their body, as if it doesn’t quite belong to them. This disconnection often develops over time, especially when the area has been associated with pain, shame, or avoidance. You can read more about the causes of vaginismus here or on on the NHS website.
Ruchi had struggled with vaginismus for 14 years and had all the usual vaginismus symptoms of including painful sex avoidance of sex. Watch her hugely honest and inspiring video about how she beat vaginismus...
• You feel a sense of squeamishness or disgust about engaging with your vagina.
Feelings of aversion or discomfort when thinking about your vagina are more common than you might think. You might feel uncomfortable or 'icky' about looking at your vagina or touching the entrance. Many women with vaginismus feel very uncomfortable about inserting their finger into their vagina.
• You avoid penetration due to fear of pain or other negative emotions.
Avoidance is a natural response to fear. When something has been painful or overwhelming in the past, your mind and body automatically steer you away from repeating it. This can look like putting off intimacy, medical appointments, or using tampons, all in an attempt to stay safe and in control.
If you recognise yourself in several of these symptoms, please know that you’re not alone and that vaginismus is completely treatable.
These experiences aren’t signs that something is “wrong” with you; they’re simply your body over-responding towards penetration.
With the right support and step-by-step approach, your body can unlearn that reaction and respond with comfort, confidence, and ease.
If you want to learn how to take back control and enjoy successful penetration in just 8-12 weeks, have a look at my homepage: https://vaginismus-treatment.co.uk or choose an option below...
Would YOU love to overcome vaginismus?
Let's meet! Book a free, online consultation to find out more
We’ll talk about where you’re at, what you’re hoping for, and if the Vaginismus-Free Programme is a good fit for you.
Relaxed and friendly 30 minute Zoom chat
Ask any questions - nothing is off-limits!
Completely confidential
I'm sure you'll come away feeling reassured, hopeful and feel much more positive mind about your future.
