Is Vaginismus psychological?
...and what the women who've beaten it say
The most crucial thing that I want you to know about vaginismus (other than the fact that it can be treated) is that there is a HUGE psychological element to it.
Although the end-product of vaginismus is physical (the pain, the 'wall', etc.), the causes of it are psychological and emotional. And don't worry, it's nothing scary or deep-rooted!!
One tell-tale sign that your mindset isn’t where it needs to be, is that your progress with penetration exercises will be exceptionally slow and/or inconsistent: your pelvic floor muscles might be exercised to Olympic standard strengths, but still you feel you're nowhere near the finish line. Or you’re exasperated at even the thought of using your dilators.
The massive impact that our mindset plays in vaginismus is something that comes as a surprise to many women - and you may struggle to believe it too - after all, vaginismus SEEMS so physical!
However, recognising the psychological aspect is usually the first step towards overcoming it.
The reality is that vaginismus is driven by a variety of factors such as a disconnection or alienation from the vagina. Plus, anxiety and fear play a part: fear of the unknown, fear of failure, and fear of pain itself.
These negative emotions will cause your vaginal muscles to tense...and trying to squeeze an object through tightly clenched vaginal muscles will predictably cause pain. Or, as is the case for many women, you'll not want to try in the first place.
It's entirely understandable why a woman might attribute her vaginismus to having a physical abnormality: believing that her vagina is too narrow or too shallow for penetration, or that there is an obstacle in the way.
It is easy to understand why the poor vagina is taking the blame here! After all, it’s a visible, tangible body part that you can see and feel. Our thoughts and mindset, however, are not.
The fact that your vaginal muscles are tensing is the END RESULT of a process that starts in the mind. This explains why purely physical treatments for vaginismus often fall short.
Many women with vaginismus have undergone unnecessary operations on their genitals, only to discover that the vaginismus persists after the surgery. Here's what two ex-vaginismus sufferers said about their experiences of this...
Julie, 20
"I felt helpless and defeated. I was 19, and had been trying to overcome my vaginismus since the early age of 14 – having met countless gynaecologists, researched the condition endlessly, and even gotten my hymen surgically removed by a top gynaecologist to “rule out any physical abnormalities”, which was entirely unnecessary.
However, I was still sceptical to begin the programme, convinced there was no “psychological” cause to my condition: I believed it was a physical reaction I had zero control over – and I didn’t want to be disappointed yet again. A few weeks later, I was a) mind-blown and b) severely proven wrong, when I realised the impact of my thinking, beliefs, and fears – in sustaining vaginismus."
Sara, 24
"I had Vaginismus for 5 years and was ping-ponged between supposed 'experts' both privately and in the NHS. During this time I must have seen 20 experts and been to 8 different sexual health clinics, counsellors offices and hospitals. During this time I had an unnecessary examination under general anaesthesia, hours of unneeded counselling and multiple gynaecology examinations.
Despite all these efforts there was no progress, five years on I couldn't even insert a cotton-bud and my feelings of brokenness and isolation just intensified with each failed attempt to overcome the condition.
Although the medical definition of vaginismus is 'an involuntary muscle spasm, that makes penetration painful or impossible'. Vaginismus-Free offers an alternative and more accurate definition, it sees vaginismus as a physical manifestation of unhelpful thinking which you can learn to control and in doing so overcome the muscle tightening.
My vaginismus is cured. This is a sentence I didn't think I would ever be able to say."
There are so many misunderstandings around vaginismus - including from medical professionals. Below are two quotes from two doctors who had also once struggled with vaginismus...
Dr Suzi, 41
"As a GP I felt I should have understood vaginismus. I had tried all the "physical" routes as I believed this was the underlying problem, including the local vulval pain clinic, pelvic physiotherapy, I was even about to book private Botox treatment!
I dismissed the Vaginismus-Free Programme quite a few times because I did not believe that for me, there was any psychological basis to my problem. I began to wonder whether I had been totally misinformed all this time about vaginismus and decided to give it a go.
I am now confidently transitioning to sex. I would advise trying this programme, to anyone who believes, like I did, that nothing will work"
Dr Fiona, 29
"I am a medical doctor and thought I knew everything about vaginismus. I read endless articles about tense vaginal muscles and physical therapies such as dilators and even botox therapy.
Within 20 minutes of starting the Vaginismus-Free Programme I learnt vaginismus is really a psychological issue.
The best part is this means it's so treatable with great results from simple techniques and guidance from the Vaginismus-Free Programme. As well as benefiting personally, I am thrilled I have this resource to direct my own patients to."
They conquered it...so can you!
As much as vaginismus may feel like feel like something that is completely unconscious and involuntary - YOU CAN LEARN TO TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR MIND AND BODY!
Overcoming vaginismus requires a mental skillset that any woman can learn.
Take the first important step to being vaginismus-free by watching my FREE Vaginismus Masterclass video.
Simply click the button below and select a time to suit you...
