Words of advice from an ex-vaginismus sufferer

vaginismus

My client Sophia, now pregnant, shares her honest and heartfelt words about how distressing having vaginismus was and how she overcame it with the Thrive Programme

“Even if one girl reads this and is given some hope then my job is done. If you’re reading this desperately seeking for an explanation to your vaginismus, wondering if there is a cure or a way out because you feel frustrated and helpless with your condition – I just want to let you know that I’ve been there just like you looking for some kind of hope feeling just as helpless and just as frustrated. But I’m telling you- as someone who has personally completed the thrive programme with Cara- there is hope. You CAN and will overcome this. 

I realised I had vaginismus about 8 years ago when I was 18 after realising I was unable to penetrate anything inside me. Anyone who has the condition will know what I mean when I say it feels like your vagina is closed up, or there is a wall that you simply cannot break through. I researched hours upon hours, until I came across the term vaginismus and I instantly broke down realising that was the condition I had.

After ignoring the condition for almost 7 years of my life, trying my best to pretend its not there and hoping that it would all go away- I realised that it wasn’t going away on its own. I had bought several books, done tons of research online and was convinced I needed ‘botox’ in my vagina, or some kind of operation to rid me of this condition. I had even purchased dilators but as soon as I looked at them, I burst into tears and hid them in the back of my cupboard. I was petrified of them, and my mind couldn’t possibly comprehend how anything of that size would ever be able to fit inside me. 

I felt helpless and worthless and these feelings only worsened when I got married to the love of my life and realising I couldn’t give him a ’normal’ marriage. I felt guilty, and every time we tried to have sex it would lead to him going quiet and upset and me crying the entire night away because no matter what I did- I simply couldn’t get anything inside me. Comments from family members asking when we’re going to have a baby, and the pressure completely crumbled me until I realised I simply could not ignore this anymore. I had been fooling myself, and my husband thinking I was getting over this condition when in reality I was doing nothing but increasing my fear of it.

After some research online, I came across Cara’s website. She was based quite near to my home (majority of places were based in london), and I immediately emailed her to which she invited me for a free consultation to have a chat with her. I immediately warmed to Cara, and since I had never discussed or told anyone about my condition except my husband- I felt super anxious and awkward but Cara put me completely at ease and advised me that I was not alone and that many other women are going through the same thing that I was. Cara described the thrive programme to me, and I was honestly completely skeptical. She told me that she would be able to completely transform my thinking style in just 6 sessions and help me to overcome my vaginismus as long as I put in the effort and did all the exercises she set me.

For someone who couldn’t even insert a cotton bud inside her- to fully overcoming my vaginismus I cannot even put into words how incredible the thrive programme is.

You may struggle some days but you will feel on top of the world other days when you complete a goal BUT if you really adapt and apply everything the thrive programme teaches you- you WILL overcome it.

As I’m writing this- I am 4 months pregnant. Something that I never thought would ever happen. I never thought I would be able to start my own family and have a normal sex life- but cara changed my life in so many ways. Cara will not only focus on your vaginismus but she will teach you how to improve every aspect of your life. I finished my sessions not only having overcome my vaginismus but with a much higher self esteem and much lower social anxiety.

Please, if you are suffering from this condition- you are not alone and you will overcome it. The thrive programme was the BEST thing I have ever done for myself and I promise you- you will not regret it.”


Sophia, 26 years old.