Given that I am a 45 year old woman who had never even looked at her intimate area before or even knew which ‘hole’ was which, let alone insert anything (and I mean anything!), I can not tell you how ground-breaking my sessions with Cara have been.

From our very 1st session, Cara made me feel relaxed and at ease, so much so that I began to realise from very early on that I could overcome this and that I was not alone. She made the programme so engaging that I enjoyed reading through the various chapters of the manual each week which enabled me to gain so much insight about myself, which I found so empowering. I still can’t quite believe that I have been able to insert dilator 3 (of 4) and am about to start dilator 4 - when a colleague of mine first told me about dilators a few months ago, I never in a million years believed that I would be able to use them, the very thought of them would make me squirm! Now, I look forward to my daily exercises and am delighted with the progress I have made. I actually can’t wait to complete dilator 4 so that I can move on to the real thing!..this has all been made possible with Cara’s superb guidance, the insightful material available and the belief that anything is possible if you put your mind and effort in to it, regardless of how ‘basic’ you feel your capabilities initially may be.

I really can’t recommend the Thrive Programme enough, not only does it assist with overcoming Vaginismus but it also helps in all areas of life in general!

I am a medical doctor and thought I knew everything about vaginismus. I read endless articles about tense vaginal muscles and physical therapies such as dilators and even botox therapy. Within 20 minutes of starting the Thrive Programme I learnt vaginismus is really a psychological issue and a problem with unhelpful thoughts about processing.

I had tried other interventions before; counselling, isolated dilator use and reading lots about the causes of vaginismus, none of which had much impact other than to make me feel more desperately sad when they didn't work. After years of ignoring the problem I reached a point after meeting a new partner when I knew I had to try again. Reading about the Cure your Vaginismus and Thrive Programme it seemed too good to be true be honest but I wanted to try. The testimonials were outstanding and I felt really inspired and excited that it might actually work

I now feel like a different person. This may sound like a dramatic exaggeration but I really do. I have gained so much personal insight it really is quite amazing. . I am having, dare I say it, good sex! Not just penetration. I feel strong and confident with a sense of power I have never had and it's great. The impact the Thrive Programme has gone way beyond curing my vaginismus and I will be eternally grateful. I am so grateful to The Thrive Programme and to Cara Ostryn for guiding me through this process. It is incredible work you do and I am so glad I did this. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

READ MORE ABOUT FIONA'S EXPERIENCE OF OVERCOMING VAGINISMUS HERE

Yesterday my husband and I finally 'put it in'! It was scientific rather than sexy, but I had no pain at all. The relief and pure joy (and also astonishment at how easy it was!!) was worth all the hard work I've been putting in with your guidance. So thank you, Cara - five and half years married with no sex, to then it being easy and no big deal in the space of three and a half months. I have to pinch myself!

Hannah, 26, a day after having sex for the first time

Email from Katie, 21, half an hour after she had sex for the first time! Followed by her testimonial

Sara, 24, who had seen 20 vaginismus 'experts'

"My vaginismus is cured. This is a sentence I didn't think I would ever be able to say. When I came across Cara's website I was trawling through google in a last ditch attempt to try to avoid having the vaginismus botox operation - something I was told was the 'last chance saloon' for vaginismus suffers who had exhausted all other options.

I had Vaginismus for five years before finding Cara and was ping-ponged between supposed 'experts' both privately and in the NHS. During this time I must have seen twenty experts and been to eight different sexual health clinics, counsellors offices and hospitals. During this time I had an unnecessary examination under general anaesthesia, hours of unneeded counselling and multiple gynaecology examinations. Despite all these efforts there was no progress, five years on I couldn't even insert a cotton-bud and my feelings of brokenness and isolation just intensified with each failed attempt to overcome the condition. Although the hardest part of it was the uncertainty of not knowing when or if I would ever overcome the condition and the implications that would have on the rest of my life.

When I started the Thrive programme I have to admit I was a bit cynical, having spent five years seeing a plethora of medical experts to no avail, I wasn't sure what would be different about the Thrive Program. Retrospectively I realise that all the medical experts I saw were either gynaecologists or counsellors, although the problem with both is that unlike Cara they did not understand how the mind and body are linked. Although the medical definition of vaginismus is 'an involuntary muscle spasm, that makes penetration painful or impossible'. Thrive offers an alternative and more accurate defintion, it sees vaginismus as a physical manifestation of unhelpful thinking which you can learn to control and in doing so overcome the muscle tightening.

Although I only came to Cara about vaginismus, I found that what I learnt during the thrive program has benefited my life in so many different ways. The silver lining of vaginismus is that in overcoming it you experience first hand how powerful the mind is, which is incredibly empowering in all areas of your life.

On a personal note Cara is funny, warm, endlessly patient, completely non-judgemental and an absolute pleasure to spend time with, the only regret you will have is having not found her sooner."

"I'd had sex a handful of times with my partner but I was so anxious and scared every time most of the times it was unsuccessful but when it did happen I just tried to endure it through the pain which just made me want to avoid it all together. Now that I have finished the programme my sex life has definitely improved but also my mental state. I have been recommending it to anyone that I know who suffer from anxiety or depression as it has definitely helped me in all aspects of my life. Cara has really helped me realise that my daily thinking styles and beliefs were not helpful and had strongly impacted my self esteem and my sex life in a negative way. Thanks again Cara for giving me the knowledge and tools so that I can deal with everyday challenges in a positive way."

Lia's review of The Thrive for Vaginismus book and Programme

"I can't tell you enough how much this book has helped me. I thought vaginismus was something I was going to suffer from for the rest of my life but Cara's thoughtful, helpful explanations of what causes it and how to cure it have enabled me to completely overcome it. There are loads of great exercises and insights in each chapter and everything is written in a very down-to-earth, easy to understand way. So many things resonated with my experiences that it almost felt like Cara was writing directly to me! I would thoroughly recommend this book to anyone who suffers from vaginismus - you don't have to put up with it or fear it any longer. My vaginismus is completely cured and I am VERY happy!! Sex is good and getting better each time 🙂 I couldn't be happier. Thank you Cara for everything!"

"I was suffering from severe vaginismus for 8 months before I contacted Cara. After being let down by the doctor who couldn’t see much of a hole and the gynocologist who didn't understand why I was in so much pain that an examination was impossible, I decided to do my own research and found Cara's website. I'm glad I did! Going through the programme has made me feel better about myself and improved my self esteem significantly. I had been brooding and sulking for so long about having vaginismus and realized that I wasn’t actually doing much at all to overcome it. I started putting in lots of effort and I was able to work my way up confidently managing to use the dilators. Before this, I was completely scared of inserting anything! I realised how I was creating anxiety and learned to calm myself down and have more control over my mind. After a year and a half of marriage, I had sex for the first time! Amazingly, it felt painless! I am so happy that I have come this far. I would really recommend the Thrive Programme to everyone as this programme not only helps you overcome vaginismus but also helps you in other aspects of your life too. Thank you so much Cara for all your help and support x"

Thank you card and email updates from Sophia, 25

“Hi Cara,

I’m doing great! Can you believe we finally had sex! No pain and I’m actually enjoying it. I never ever in a million years thought this could happen I’m absolutely over the moon and so is my husband. I practiced with all the dilators for a few weeks, slowly progressing to the largest size.

My husband helped me, and now we can comfortably get him inside me. We’re planning for a baby now and I’m just overjoyed beyond belief. You truly changed my life. I’m even crying whilst I type this but from the bottom of my heart thank you. I never realised how much power my mind has but I feel so powerful and in control of my life now.”

EMAIL RECEIVED JAN 2020

Hi Cara, I wanted to let you know that I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy on New Years day! I’m over the moon and cannot thank you enough for all your help. I managed to deliver vaginally (which I was anxious about due to my previous issues with vagnismus) and only with gas and air so I’m beyond happy and so proud of how far I’ve come. I wouldn’t have been able to do it without you.

Testimonial from London-based doctor

"As a GP, I had spent a long time thinking that perhaps there was a physical cause for this. However I also felt like this was a ‘catch 22’ situation because I did not feel comfortable enough to go for an examination. I was getting increasingly frustrated as I did not feel I was making any progress with it, despite regular reviews with a (very good, very kind and very patient) gynaecologist and trying to regularly use dilators.

My outlook changed after my first consultation with Cara. I realised not only would this programme likely help me with vaginismus, but with other aspects of my life.

‘Thrive’ enabled me to look at myself, my strengths, my weaknesses, my self-confidence, and my perceptions of things. Six months later, my husband and I were able to have successful penetrative sex, and we still are!

The programme also helped me in lots of other aspects -my work, friendships and my general outlook in things. I would highly recommended this programme. Cara was absolutely fantastic – very patient, enthusiastic, and also questioned me whenever she felt my thought processes may be deleterious!"

“Cara you changed my life and the way I think. Before I met Cara I went to see my doctor and they referred me to a councilor who basically blamed my past on why I had Vaginismus. From my first session with Cara I could tell it wasn’t my past but my present and the way think on a day to day basis. With me, I didn’t know my body at all, I wasn’t even able locate my hole, and I was so scared of the pain to even insert an ear bud inside me let alone trying to let a penis in. I am now able to insert all the trainers and vibrators and I’m enjoying it. I am still yet to have sexual intercourse, but I am now fully ready to have sexual intercourse when the right person comes along. Thank you soooo much Cara. Anyone who is finding it hard with vaginismus, please contact Cara. I know its hard to speak about it and how embarrassing it is, however she’s a life saver. Its not just Vaginism Cara helps with but also how to love yourself and feel about yourself. I can’t believe I didn’t do it sooner, my past relationships wouldn’t have ended if I did.”

"The Thrive Programme really focuses on how to improve your way of thinking. Slowly throughout the weeks I realised my way of thinking was changing, I was brooding less, I was having more positive thoughts, I was making progress in using my dilators and finally after completing the six sessions, me and my husband were able to have sex! We had been married for just under 2 years and had no success beforehand. I would highly recommend the thrive programme and with Cara’s expertise, overcoming vaginismus is definitely achievable. I cannot thank Cara enough and know the techniques I have learnt will help me Thrive in life!"

Rebecca S, USA

"Realizing the anxiety I had always thought I could deal with alone had manifested into vaginismus caused me to hit rock bottom, and for my anxiety and emotions to feel desperately uncontrollable. I wanted to find a therapist who could help me address the underlying issues of vaginismus – my anxiety. Cara guided me through building my self-esteem which was crucial for finally getting in control of anxiety.

I wish I had found and done Thrive with Cara earlier because it changed my life. Gone is the emotional roller coaster I was always on, the critical mean-spirited way I would talk to myself that I would never say to another person and the feeling of complete uncontrol over my emotions.

You won’t come out perfect, but the change in the quality of your life increases exponentially. For me, The Thrive Programme was fighting for the life I wanted and not settling for what I thought I deserved or was capable of."

"I was diagnosed with Vaginismus about four years ago and tried many different programs to try and overcome it – kegels, yoga, relaxation methods and dilators yet nothing had worked. Through reading lots of books on Vaginismus, I thought that I had an incredibly complex issue that could only be treated with Botox.

Thats when I found the Thrive Program and contacted Cara – the rest is history!

With Cara’s help, I was able to overcome Vaginismus, enjoy sex and have a full gynecological test – something I had been too afraid to do before. Cara was amazing at reassuring me that my body is completely normal and that with the right skills, Vaginismus can be simple to overcome!

Furthermore, I was able to improve my low self-esteem and anxiety problems that had been holding me back in relationships and in my working life. In just six sessions, Cara was able completely transform the way I think about myself.

I am so grateful for all your help – I just wish I had found you sooner! This was easily the best decision I have ever made and I shall continue to follow all the steps that I learnt to Thrive at everything! And thank you for saving me from Botox! "

"I just wanted to say thank you so much Cara for all your encouragement and your help.

My husband and I had struggled in our first few months of marriage with my vaginismus but with your help we are finally overcoming it!!

Sex is getting better all the time – its so much easier now and I feel completely different about it all. Before I saw Cara I was completely convinced that there was something wrong with me and my self esteem was really not great.

But the techniques I learnt were amazing and to understand more about the way my thinking styles were ruling my life (e.g. effecting my vaginismus, how I acted socially and my low self esteem) was incredible! Thank you so much for everything! "

"I tried many treatments before coming to The Thrive Programme. I’d been to counselling for six months, I’ve been referred to physiotherapy, I’d tried the sensate focus approach, I’d tried using dilators and I’d been to the sexual health clinic. I was even thinking if I’d ever be able to have children, and this was really getting me down.

What attracted me to The Thrive Programme was that it focused on the mental aspects of the condition and also my beliefs and how they impacted the vaginismus. Cara was very calm and warm and she really listened to me as I was able to tell my story and not feel judged or worried about that.

After week five or six I was actually able to have sex for the first time without any pain. I was able to repeat that a few days later. I never expected to get those results so quickly. It’s also had a wide impact upon my life and how I view situations and I feel so much more confident and in control in my life.

It’s just amazing to feel feel that the world is my oyster and I can achieve whatever I want to. "

"Hi Cara, I just wanted to let you know that I finally had my smear. I managed to talk to the lady without a melt down and she was so amazing, the nurse even held my hand!

I couldn’t believe it, it took 30 seconds and it didn’t hurt at all. I am so happy I can’t tell you, I feel I’ve got over my aversion of people doing things to me.

I was amazed how cool I was about the smear. Thankyou, Thankyou, thankyou."

Riya, 26. To read her ‘Overcoming Vaginismus Diary’, Click here

"We finally did it!!! I’m so so grateful to you for all your help and support. I feel stronger in all areas of my life and I can now finally say I’ve overcome vaginismus. Thank you so much to Cara for all your help and support over the past couple of months.

You helped me to see the light at the end of the tunnel. If you told me a few months ago that I would have overcome my vaginismus, I would not have believed you. Now, I know that I can do it and it will get easier and more enjoyable each time.

The Thrive sessions have not only helped me with my Vaginismus but also helped me as a whole to understand, reflect and challenge my thoughts and beliefs. I feel stronger as an individual, empowered and full of positivity.

Knowing that I am in control of my thoughts and what happens to me has been one of the most valuable lessons that I have learnt. I cannot thank you enough. Cara, I am so grateful for what you have helped me to achieve."

Email from Helen, received February 2016.

"Hi Cara, I don’t know if you remember me, I saw for the treatment of vaginismus in 2013.

I wanted to thank you so much for everything you did as I am now pregnant!

For 10 years I didn’t think that would ever be a possibility. I found out on Xmas eve that we are expecting and had our 12 week scan yesterday.

I just had to tell you and say thank you. I often think about you x"

"I had suffered with the thought that there was something wrong with me in regards to having sex. I’d been to the doctors and had a few examinations to be told that I needed to see a gynaecologist.

My fear of having sex had over taken my life to the point where I couldn’t overcome it for 8 years until I met Cara.I thought I had a medical condition which actually turned out to be a state of mind that only Cara made me realise.

I went through The Thrive Programme and initially thought I have tried everything else let’s give it one last go. In my mind I felt like if a doctor cant help me how is talking about it going to. This is where I went wrong.

Week by week I got that step further in being able to have sex and within 7 weeks I had sex properly for the first time!

Each time I embraced my achievements rather than focus on the negative and now I able to have sex enjoyably. All thanks to Cara! Thank you so much. "

"This is one of the best decisions I have ever made.

If you want to overcome vaginismus in a simple logical way this is the way.…it really is so simple.

Before I started working with Cara and during the programme it felt like the most craziest complex problem to overcome and I now know how simple and logical it is to overcome and can apply the same process to anything I want to achieve in life and that fills me with confidence."

"I have been married for 2 years and after trying dilators, and seeking help from a psychosexual clinic via the NHS, I was still not able to have intercourse.

I went to see Cara apprehensively. I had no faith whatsoever that she could help my condition using Thrive. Thrive sounded completely unrelated to vaginism, like a ‘one size fits all’ approach, and I struggled to see how anyone could cure me by simply having a chat.

But within just 4 sessions with Cara I was able to have intercourse! What made me most apprehensive about Thrive has now become what I love about it the most.

It doesn’t just deal with vaginismus but every aspect of our thinking. It’s now helping me with other aspects of my life and has made me a more positive and happier person."

"Hi Cara, I hope you remember me – I completed The Thrive programme with you around a year ago. I was seeing you for vaginismus.

I wanted to let you know that I am completely cured of vaginismus. I am soooo much happier in all aspects of my life now. I feel more confident and comfortable in myself, have a much more internal locus of control, higher self esteem and lower (though this one still needs work!) social anxiety.

So, I just wanted to let you know that you really helped me. The Thrive Programme really was the turning point for me and I recommend it to everyone I speak to in and outside of work who wants to make any kind of change in their lives. Thank you!"

"Having had vaginismus for 10 years I was beginning to give up on the idea of ever being able to have sex.

I’d tried counselling and psychosexual therapy for years with very little progress, but all I’d needed was 6 sessions of Thrive.

Cara really helped me see that sex was possible and all that was stopping me was me! Through the programme and my sessions with Cara, I have been able to understand and manage my thoughts an feelings in other situations too and am able to worry less about always being in control.

I really do feel now that anything is possible. Cara, I cannot thank you enough- my life has changed so much and I can now really look forward to my future"

Hannah, 21, treated for Vaginismus and OCD

"For 3 years I have suffered with vaginismus and I thought it was a problem with me, an unsolvable problem. Until I met Cara!
 That sounds corny, I know but its true.

I came across Cara’s website through simply searching the term vaginismus online & was suddenly filled with hope that there was a cure! – The THRIVE Programme!

I battled with vaginismus to the point where sex was not possible at all, I had been told by Doctor’s and gynaecologists that this condition was very difficult to treat and required physical treatment, examinations – you name it!

Anybody experiencing this condition will understand what I mean when it feels like your hitting a brick wall followed by feeling very down after each failure.After seeing Cara I am able to have sex and actually enjoy it!

I initially consulted with Cara for just this issue however I also was battling with anxiety, OCD and panic attacks. The THRIVE programme and Cara’s brilliant consultations helped me overcome all of these issues I have been experiencing for a very long time.

I feel like a different person now & I cannot thank Cara enough for everything she has done for me or should I say everything she has helped me do for myself!Her genuine care through the entire programme was amazing and I could not help but feel teary when she hugged me goodbye.

Every penny spent and every minute spent was worth it and I will continue referring to Thrive for the rest of my life. Meeting with Cara and taking part in the THRIVE programme has really made me learn much more about myself, things I never knew before.

I now feel like I can overcome anything.Thank you SO much for all of your help Cara, I feel like a little butterfly let loose!"

"I battled with Vaginismus for several years and was convinced I was abnormal and incapable of having a sexual relationship with my husband.

I tried psychosexual therapy, couple therapy and every self help tool you can imagine – to no avail.

Then I met Cara who helped me through a journey of self discovery. And you know what? Sex is great!!

This saved my marriage and has helped me feel like me again.I have never been happier! I thank you Cara with all my heart."

"So do I just want to say thank you to you? NOT really, I want to give you a big big sisterly HUG!

For your kindness and compassion, for your support and care, for your commitment and understanding, for being so non judgemental, for being patient, for being sweet, for being the person there for me at a difficult time, for being my confidente ,who listened to me, heard me and helped me find my way, my shining star !!!!!!

You have truly been inspiring to me in a lot of ways, and you have touched my life in a way that I will cherish and hold forever. I am feeling more confident and my self esteem has improved tremendously and I can honestly say I feel ‘really content’…

Things are changing for the better, I am the one who is changing and I am enjoying it. I am more aware of myself and my control over ‘me’, which feels really good…. so thank you for making me smile"

Farrah, 40, treated for low libido and social anxiety.

"When I first came to see Cara I had been suffering from social phobia for many years and low libido that I thought was part of me. I was not happy with myself, I wanted to change and tried many forms of therapies namely, reflexology, acupuncture, hypnotherapy, etc, but none of them helped to get to the root of the problem.

I think I came to see Cara at the right time and I am glad I did as I had no energy to do anything even everyday things like house work, shopping, picking kids up from school seemed a great effort until I came to see Cara. She was warm and approachable and made me feel at ease and after four sessions I began to notice the difference and felt great and had energy.

I am no longer nervous and rigid around people, I dont fear social situations like I used to. I no longer feel overwhelmed with tasks, I just get on with things now.

My libido is also much better now."

"Cara has completely destressed me, sometimes going about my day I could be so overwhelmed I would just cry.

I feel so much happier physically and mentally now I have learnt how to deal with these traits so they impact less on my life.

The one thing I am so grateful to Cara for, is that my relationship with my husband, on ice now for ten years due to my vaginismus and fear of painful sex post menapause, is back on path and she gave me the tools to fully understand why this had happened and what I could do to get over it.

I have much better control over my emotions and I am positive about everything. Communicating with Cara becomes something you will ever be grateful for.

I found myself in front of the most amazing lady that allowed me to talk to someone in a way I had never talked to anyone before.

The Thrive Programme will improve anyone’s life for the better, you do not need to think you have a problem to benefit and I could not recommend it more highly."