Women with vaginismus hold a number of negative and limiting beliefs about the condition and their ability to overcome it. Every one of these beliefs will cause anxiety and will be a hindrance to resolving it. Below are ten of the most common limiting beliefs that my previous clients expressed at the start of the programme.
How many do YOU believe?
- I believe that my vagina is physically abnormal
- I am less ‘womanly’ because of the vaginismus
- If I have sex I will tear or bleed
- I sometimes experience physical symptoms (such as palpitations) at the thought of sex
- I can feel disgust or squeamishness at the thought of my vagina or having sexual activity
- I fear that I will always have vaginismus
- I feel very uncomfortable discussing vaginismus with my partner or those closest to me
- Vaginismus has a big negative impact upon my relationship / I avoid relationships
- I have little or no control over my body’s response to penetration
- I have little or no control over my thoughts about penetration
Results of data – the good news!
Analysis of data gathered from my last 31 client’s belief scores reveals that, on average, woman held six of the above limiting beliefs at the start of the Thrive Programme. This score decreased to an average of just 0.2 in their final session (which usually occurs 7-8 weeks after the first session).
At the start of the programme, 42% of clients believed that their vagina is physically abnormal. Not one woman held that belief by their final session. The implications for this change in belief are huge: if you believe that your vagina is normal and that it’s your thinking that is the culprit, you will put in a considerable amount of effort to manage your thinking and physically challenge the vaginismus. The more effort you apply, the quicker you overcome vaginismus.
At the start of the programme, 80% of clients believed that they would always have vaginismus. By their final session, not one woman believed that. Again, because they believed they were able to overcome vaginismus, (and may have already done so), they would continue to put in the effort required to achieve full symptom resolution.
At the start of the programme, 97% of clients believed have had little or no control over their body’s response to penetration. Not one single woman held that belief at the end.
I hope this inspires you and encourages you to believe that no matter how stuck you may feel at the moment, no matter how strongly you believe you will never get over vaginismus – there is an answer.